Eudora Welty’s description of photographs reminds me of several occasions I wished to freeze time, to transport Richard or other people to see what they would not otherwise because I did not have a camera with me. Those times are fewer now, thanks to the marvels of modern technology that lets me take pictures with my phone (or Richard with his own). Let’s take a brief trip down memory card lane, dear reader.

Like this one of Emma, for example. I was ill, they were at his parents’ house, but I didn’t have to completely miss her jubilation.

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Richard was out of town when Ephraim decided to nap on the CPU. Eph really knows how to play to the very end and then snooze just about anywhere. I moved him to another location after I clicked the button. Later that night, he made his way back to the front room and fell asleep on the computer again.

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Elena had a fabulous time riding the “safari cars” at the AZ State Fair this year. She and I raced a few times around the track–sorry, I don’t know how to do a good self portrait yet, let alone while wiggling on a plasma car!

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Cheanna bought this volcano kit at Target and couldn’t wait to use it! She loves science experiments.

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Duncan took a turn pushing Anya around during our visit to Salt Lake City’s Temple Square this summer. Our digital camera’s batteries died on the trip and the phones saved the picture day!

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Everybody smile and say “Yay, we’re at the Family History Center!”  Eh, good enough.

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Lying on the bed this morning, gradually regaining conciousness, awareness…

Don’t I have something written somewhere about seeking purpose in suffering, finding peace in poor health?

Time to grab the journal box.

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It’s supposed to make me feel better, right? Even a virtual one?
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The previous post contains a Flylady Violation: Conduct Unbecoming a Flybaby

Set timer and engage in personal affirmations.

Play will resume in fifteen minutes.

I thought about using “over the starting line” in the title, but ’twas more pathetic than I should be, mid-November and all…

We have a 2008 countdown up on our walls, right now. Red, blue, and yellow balloon shapes numbered to show just how many days we have left until 2009. 51-48 already crossed off; #47 will be x’ed tonight before bed. I chose the die-cuts for their bright colors and how the visual image of a ‘popped’ balloon could convey the similar permanence of a spent day.

The past week has found me spent, a truly unfortunate discovery to make at sunrise, rather than sunset. Can I blame it on a strong cold, dear reader, or a wimpy woman? Doesn’t matter all that much for the days gone by, though, does it?

You may be asking, dear reader, “What can I do to assist you?”. Right now, my answer would echo something like a whiny Luke’s long ago in a galaxy far, far away:

“Not [much], unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock!”

Where’s Obi-wan when I need him? :|

What does it mean if someone flips a coin and it lands on its edge?

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If you have not read the original post and its comments , you’ll be jumping into an already-in-progress conversation by only reading this one. I suggest you familiarize yourself before you click to read more. Why? ( in my best fairy tale wolf voice) All the better to add your own thoughts, my dear reader.

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Most of us would be somewhat familiar with the scriptural warnings againt being a seeker of signs.

Mark 8: 11-12
11 And the Pharisees came forth, and began to question with him, seeking of him a sign from heaven, tempting him.
12 And he sighed deeply in his spirit, and saith, Why doth this generation seek after a sign? verily I say unto you, There shall no sign be given unto this generation.

Luke 11: 29
29 And when the people were gathered thick together, he began to say, This is an evil generation: they seek a sign; and there shall no sign be given it, but the sign of Jonas the prophet.

D&C 46: 9
9 For verily I say unto you, they [gifts of the Holy Spirit] are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me, that ask and not for a sign that they may consume it upon their lusts.

D&C 63: 7-12
7 And he that seeketh signs shall see signs, but not unto salvation.
8 Verily, I say unto you, there are those among you who seek signs, and there have been such even from the beginning;
9 But, behold, faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe.
10 Yea, signs come by faith, not by the will of men, nor as they please, but by the will of God.
11 Yea, signs come by faith, unto mighty works, for without faith no man pleaseth God; and with whom God is angry he is not well pleased; wherefore, unto such he showeth no signs, only in wrath unto their condemnation.
12 Wherefore, I, the Lord, am not pleased with those among you who have sought after signs and wonders for faith, and not for the good of men unto my glory.

Maybe my situation is different, though, because most of what I find here is about demanding signs of the reality of the living God, not necessarily signs intended for guidance in life. Maybe it’s not, and I’m looking to justify myself in what I’ve decided. I’m interested in your semi-biased opinion, dear reader, so I hope that you will share both your reaction and any experiences you feel comfortable sharing. (Bear in mind that lany lack of religious inclinations does NOT exempt you from leaving a comment, because I know you, dear reader, and you are respectful of me and my beliefs)

I’ve sought answers to questions in prayers since my very first attempts prior to my baptism. I’ve had so many times they were answered in unexpected ways, sometimes much much later than when I had originally inquired. Sometimes those answers were recognized as such right away, other times I saw God’s hand well after the fact.

I thought a lot about it today, trying to recall I’d ever put some kind of “God, if B is right, please make LO occur.” request out there, or conversely, “If B is wrong, make it so LO does not happen”.

I find it unlike the lightning swearing of truth to another person, “If I’m lying, I’m dying”. If God doesn’t strike me dead, I’m honest without a doubt. Ayup. Check out my bridge for sale, right this way…

I have seen signs, though, ones I cannot deny. Little miracles, tender mercies as Elder David Bednar calls them, sprinkled throughout my life.

Are these examples sign-seeking, or just really dumb, or both?
“God, If she breaks her leg, then I’ll know I’m not supposed to marry her.”
“My boss giving me a large raise will be the answer for me keep this job, God. If not, I know you want me to quit.”
“If I’m not supposed to drink this coffee, God, have the cup crack before I do it.”
“God, I will go to the next college that sends me a letter.”
“If someone doesn’t say “Hi” to me at church, God, I’m not coming back.”
“Have a puppy show up at my door, God, if I should have a pet.”

If it’s put in more general terms, though, does it change anything?

“God, we need a sign to know which way to go in all of these paths. If this is right, God, someone else will take this particular action. If this action is not taken, we will know that this desire/course was not right.”

So let’s say that this action happens. Could the course still be the wrong way? Was it not a sign after all? Will God grant a different means of expression (the whispers of the Holy Ghost, for example) to direct my paths for good, knowing that I’d hung my choice on something else?

Richard and I fasted and prayed to know if we should pursue a fifth child after my sudden illness in 2004. We received an affirmative answer to our prayers through the Spirit but other confirmations followed. A priesthood blessing from a home teacher unaware of our desire, the ready availability of medications deemed safe for pregnancy. Anya’s arrival had other signs surrounding her conception and birth.

That period of our lives is over now. The larger decisions nowadays concern education, career moves, living situations, etc. Still life-changing, long lasting choices for the most part. Ones that I’d hate to be wrong about, so I find myself asking for a sign. A specific answer from God. Now, in this case, there’s a deadline, a time appointed with which I have nothing to do. So come Wednesday night, the coin flips. We’ll soon see if my calling heads means anything in the eyes of God.

Am I part of a wicked generation? I sure hope not.

REM inspires my posting this morning…

Hello, I saw you, I know you, I knew you
I think I can remember your name, name
Hello, I’m sorry, I lost myself
I think I thought you were someone else

Should we talk about the weather? (Hi, hi, hi)
Should we talk about the government?
©(Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe)

After highs in the 90s last week (oy, with the sweating in the Halloween costumes, and the carrying of chocolates in an insulated bag, and the fast-melting ice cream cones), it felt fab to arise this morning to a far cooler house. The thermostat says 72, much lower than I’ve set it for A/C, thanks to the low in the 50s. “Put on some shoes, already!” say my tingly feet. The air outside will gradually heat up, though, high 70s/low 80s this week.

This is why we live in Arizona, right? Well, that and this is where school & work planted us. It would be neat to live closer to family & old friends, but today I’m happy to bloom right here and ‘lift where I stand’.

And enjoy the nice weather while it lasts.

That’s my take away from watching the election coverage last night. Senator John McCain’s speech increased the admiration and respect I hold for the man I wish had beaten George W. Bush two terms ago. (I also liked that he hushed the obnoxious gatherers–glad the Chicago crowd showed greater restraint, though extremely scattered would apply to the applause given to any references to either Republicans or John McCain)

An excerpt of McCain’s fantastically gracious remarks:

Senator Obama and I have had and argued our differences, and he has prevailed. No doubt many of those differences remain.

These are difficult times for our country. And I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face.

I urge all Americans … I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited

I would that all McCain supporters take his words to heart.

I saw the sadness in his eyes, though, and felt much sorrow for him. His Straight Talk Express moved me back in 2000 and I think as a nation we missed out on a great man as a great leader for that time.

It’s natural, tonight, to feel some disappointment. But tomorrow, we must move beyond it and work together to get our country moving again.

Today is that tomorrow. Every day from here on out for the next four years is that tomorrow.

President-elect Barack Obama delivered a speech that both Richard and I thought resembled more of an inaugural than an acceptance of election results. I held my breath, honestly, worried about some crazy hateful person doing something unspeakable during his appearance. In our prayers for the country and for President-elect Obama, we include our desire that his protection details will be successful in their work to keep that from happening. (Knowing some Secret Service agents personally helps make that specifically relevant to us, I think)

An excerpt about Senator McCain:

A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain.

Senator McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he’s fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

I congratulate him; I congratulate Governor Palin for all that they’ve achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.

I thoroughly enjoyed this portion of his remarks:

This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

It can’t happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.

Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it’s that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let’s resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let’s remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

I would that all Obama supporters follow his example of respect for the opposition and work together. (Can I get a “yes, we can” from the peanut gallery?)

My first election back in ‘96 I was so proud to vote for Bill Clinton. Of the four presidential elections since I became an eligible voter, two of the candidates I selected on the ballot went on to win. 50% ain’t bad so far. We’ll see how my stats have changed when I’m the one who’s 106.

God bless America, and God bless the President-elect. I know He has, I hope He will.